Operations worker secretly audits the shared snack cabinet, ends up catching coworker stealing half the snacks each week: 'I've never respected anyone more'

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  • We recently moved into a newly renovated office that has a shared snack cabinet, granola bars, instant noodles, random Costco stuff our manager buys every Monday.
  • Nothing fancy, but it makes long days easier. Two weeks ago, we finally figured out why the snacks had started disappearing by Wednesday every week.
    via Mediocre_Can2295
  • It was Ben. Ben is one of those quiet, competent operations guys who does his job well and rarely talks. Very “hidden genius” vibes. He
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  • asked if he could "audit the snack budget" because he noticed inconsistencies, and my manager, who loves anything that sounds like cost analysis, said yes.
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  • What we didn't know was that Ben took this task very seriously. He printed a sign-out sheet (which everyone ignored). He then moved to "discreet monitoring."
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  • What this actually meant: he kept a Google Sheet tracking each of our snack choices, consumption frequency, and predicted restock cycles.
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  • Guys... he was literally logging timestamps of who grabbed what. He had pivot tables. He had charts. He had WEEKLY FORECASTS. He even had
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  • R T Y H N : wwwwww
  • color-coded categories like "chronic noodle abuser" and "unreported granola withdrawals." HR eventually told him he needed to stop because it
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  • "created unnecessary surveillance expectations in a non-surveillance snack environment." He seemed genuinely disappointed. Like, he had
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  • found his life's purpose and corporate told him to stop achieving. The funniest part: his spreadsheet actually worked. The moment he
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  • showed it to management, they realized one dude in sales, Kyle, was eating 14 granola bars a week and taking home noodles "for convenience."
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  • Kyle now has to bring in two boxes of snacks every Monday "as restitution." Ben didn't get in trouble. Kyle did. The spreadsheet has been retired, but I've never respected anyone more.
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  • queenofswords24 Anything to avoid doing actual work Imao
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  • HoneyLogin Lmao, Ben's hella committed. Might seem weird, but can't knock the hustle. Dude saw a prob, got on it, even whipped out pivot tables and all. Kyle tho, smh... "convenience" ain't a ticket to bankruptcy, dude! Dag, bringing snacks for restitution, feels like school punishment all over again, huh? But, on the real though, maybe we gotta start valuing Bens' more - ain't nothing wrong with attention to detail! Dude might just be onto something. Oh, and it's official imo, all Kyles are nat
    via HoneyLogin
  • SlickRicks Bitch Tits The most Dwight shit I've ever read
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